j'adore fabulosity

Sorry this took so long! Love You!

This blog is personal. Not just because it involves one of my best friends, but also because it involves BITCHASSNESS and not a small dose. An over sized, over-dosed, doing the most amount of it and honestly it makes me sick to my stomach. I might rant a little in this one, but this needs to be said. Just because I'm not a complete bitch, I won't use your name...but you know who you are! For the sake of this discussion I will just call this gentleman (and I use this term loosely) TRE.

So...you were never fly. You were a nice guy, a cool guy, a interesting guy, but fly is one thing that you NEVER were. I thought you were real, but I was sadly mistaken. I thought you had sense, but I was so wrong. You "loved" my friend and treated her well so you were fine with me, but now I feel totally different. It's so sad because we all know how and you changed and it's pitiful that you allowed outsiders that have barely even known you warp you so much that you treat the best thing that ever happened to you like shit. Honestly, you're not a man. You're a pathetic excuse for one. You are to weak to stand on your own so you have to get with a bunch of other nobodies and dance around just to feel good about yourself. Yeah really FLY.

She held you DOWN, and when I say down I mean she would do and did do any and everything for you. Please let's stop and think about where you would be if she wouldn't have been in your life...especially last summer. Please don't play yourself right now. You owe all that you think you are now to her, and you want to be brand new. PLEASE! Your like the dirt on the bottom of my oldest sneakers. You're not even human to me. You're the reason a lot of men get bad names. You bring down an entire species. No exaggeration.


And as far as being with you for so long and putting up with your bullshit, that took more strength than you or anyone else could ever imagine. You want to call somebody crazy, please feel free to call me crazy because if she really was crazy she would have done all those things that "people" said she did because I know for a fact I would. Had it been left up to me, I would be rotting in someone's jail for beating the hell out of you. But I say all that to say, you're an idiot. We all know that. I think you're the only one that's confused, but from what I hear that's not a new thing with you. I wish you well and all I can do is hope for the best because KARMA is a bitch. So all those negative horrible things you put out into the world will come back on you, and I can only pray that you're prepared. As for my girl, she's better without you so you and the big joint can live happily ever after. And I will give ya'll a pack of 5 gum....but make sure that's all your girl eats because we all know she could use a little starvation.

Love You Girl!! Muah!

Quite a few years ago Whitney Houston raised a question that has plagued me for sometime now; where do broken hearts go? I know for a fact that they certainly do not melt away. They are not magically made whole again by another relationship or becoming the object of another's affection. They are not mended with love songs and Ben & Jerry's. And most importantly they cannot be repaired with the manifestation of emotion through sex. Believe me, I speak from experience. Having tried all of the above to no avail. Its like putting a band-aid on a gun shot. These remedies that society, our friends, and our peers tell us that should cure whatever love ailment we have are lies. Blatant and misleading, they are superficial antidotes that really do nothing but leave us living in self-doubt and a relentless pity. We choose to believe a broken heart is like a puzzle that can be simply and perfectly placed back together when it is more like a torn ACL, that takes ages to heal and is never quite as good before. Once it is broken, ones heart is never quite the same. You can never feel as much, never give as much: point blank you will never love the same. Its a difficult concept to grasp, especially while in the crux of the situation. Emotional and subjective a broken heart can be the worst type of pain and one that no pain killer can alleviate. While this may seem clouded with doom and personal recollection, I do have a point; while having your heart broken is painful and lingering, each day it hurts a little less, and the pain becomes manageable. I will not lie and say it goes away because honestly I do not believe that it ever completely does, but it will lessen. But you will relapse. You will hear that song (or songs in my case--a whole iTunes playlist worth) that remind you of him or her. You will pass that movie theater where you went on your first date. You will remember the exact booth you sat in at your first dinner together. You will smell a scent that takes you directly back to the moment when you laid together in perfect peace feeling like you were the only two people in the world. You will remember the touch that sent chills through your body. You will reminisce. You will think of what could have been, what should have been, and you will hold on to the fleeting desire of what still could be. Sadness is inevitable. Remorse is customary. But we must lean into this discomfort and fight through the low moments because they are necessary evils. Sufrir es crecer meaning to suffer is to grow. There is a purpose in the pain. So where do broken hearts go? Honestly, no where. They remain with us forever, and they carry important life lessons that make us stronger and able to withstand much. Just know they never go away: with time what was unbearable becomes more acquiescent.