j'adore fabulosity

Fabulous is as Fabulous Does

Fabulous is...

Personal. Fabulousness is being unique and individual and not giving two cares about what anyone else thinks or feels about who you are. Being fab is more than just what you where or how you look. It transcends the physical and consists of completeness: not only looking great, but also feeling great and being great. Being fabulous is about swag. Crazy swag. You have it or you don't.

...As Fabulous Does

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left" -Marilyn Monroe

MUB Playlist

"Damaged"-Danity Kane
"She Can't Love You"- Destiny's Child
"I Remember" -Keyshia Cole
"The Way That I Love You"-Ashanti
"Last Time" -Trey Songz
"Ya Man [Girl] Ain't Me"- Chris Brown

Friends, how many of us have them?

According to dictionary.com friendship is a state of intimacy between or among an individual or a group of individuals, but according to my personal definition it is so much more. When speaking on such a topic I gotta quote the great Hov, "honesty, loyalty, friends, and then wealth". But in college it can seem that life becomes "every many for himself." No matter how deep you believe a connection to be or how strong you think you've forged a bond, it can be violated. When it comes too friendship there are three things that I consider off-limits:
1. My stilettos
2. My male left-overs
3. Saying thing behind my back that you never intend to bring to my face

I have developed a bond with each of these girls above over the past two years. Yes, I consider them friends, but all these rules have been violated. But there is much I have come to realize. Life is too short to alienate those who have held you down from day one. At some point in life we all have secrets and violate the unwritten rules of sisterhood, so she that is without sin can cast the first stone. G-Unit, as we've been called, is definitely guilty of disrespecting sisterhood, and I've even thought, at times, that we were only friends out of convenience. Honestly, as much as we have gone through with each other, men, and definitely other females, something is still holding us together and I know that that is much more than convenience or coincidence. I cannot speak for everyone, but I know that when it comes down to it they will be there, and I can't say that about many others. The bottom line is knowing who will come through for your when everyone else doesn't care, who will fight with you when a bitch throws a drink in your face in the club, who would never let you walk out the dorm in something hideous that you thought was cute, who will be brutally honest when necessary, who will go in with you on the biggest bottle of goose of belv that the the liquor store has 6 weekends in a row, who will stay up until 4am on a Tuesday discussing relationships and bitchassness just because you need to talk, or who will hold you down through all the bullshit college can throw your way.

It's Been a Minute

It's been a minute since I've made a post, but that only because I have had difficulty figuring out where I am in life, and as of lately I have not been sure. It has taken a lot for me to get to the point where I can admit that I did not know where I stood. Confusion especially about life is something that we are taught to fear thus we avoid admitting this uncertainty. For awhile I had this fantasy in my head. I tried to change. I tried to fit this mold. I ceased being me, and when I realized that the situation would not play out the way I desired over ego and jealousy, I had to stop and think. Is this where I should be? Should I change myself just to be accepted by females that are too weak to stand on their own and resort to "mob mentality" to seem cool?? If anything, from this I have learned to always be true to who I am and never shrink so that others won't feel insecure around you. I still do not know exactly where I am, but I am no longer in holding or in proxy waiting to be "picked" or "liked" by anyone. Self-reliance has gotten me thus far and self-reliance will keep me going. Now, if you aren't helping me to improve my life you are doing nothing for me, and therefore not worth my time. Dr. Seuss said it best, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
So here I go...
It's difficult when things don't work out according to your plan. We all have those visions of perfection and delusions of grandeur. I know I have. This school year I have experienced it all: I have been betrayed by those I thought were closest to me and unknown to them I have been the source of some betrayal but that only taught me to trust no one. I have lied and been lied to which only proved that you either play or get played. I have been the victim and the victimizer which only shows that at any moment are situation can flip. I have been hurt beyond belief while at the same time inflicting similar pain proving that hurt people hurt. I completely lost sight of who I was and what I stood for. I was so swept away by the pain I experienced, I lost myself. Too busy with trying to disguise it and seeking revenge for it, I let the pain engulf me. But I now know that success is the greatest revenge that can be experienced. If you are able to go on with your life, be happy and not be paralyzed by pain, here in lies the victory. Its not about sleeping around to evoke jealousy or talking slick to start drama. I sought out to forget everything buy seeking comfort in my vices, but I have learned it's about transcendence. But all the negative karma I put into the world I will have to account for, and thats a dangerous risk we run when we do things that are detrimental to ourselves and others. I've been in a valley, unable to gain momentum or enough energy to begin my assent. Sometimes we are forced to be still and linger in our low places. This discomfort and unrest allows us to appreciate the better things that have been and those good things that are to come. It's been a storm. Sometimes in life we go through storms, and it is all about our ability to come out on the other side a better, stronger person. Ultimately, we all have to pay for what we have done, but it is our responsibility stop the cycle of pain. "Penance done and penance more to do".