Fashion Fab
Done Settling
Why do we take what we take in relationships? Are we settling when we put up with bullshit or are we really held captive by love? I was taught that love was 1st Corinthians: 13 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
and if that be so... why do we as men and women sit and allow bullshit to masquerade as love and ruin our lives? We let it break us down forget our worth and settle for sub par. This makes the extraordinary just average. I personally can no longer allow my light to be dulled so that wackness can shine. I'm done with the bs because I simply no longer have the strength. I know who I am: fabulous with or without you. Get with it or get lost...
Now Usually I Don't Do This But....
Now, I have to borrow a line from Drake and say a lot of people be thinking my blog is about them...this is not to get confused. This one really IS about you...
So many people have so much to say about me and the contents of my blog. I think it's hilarious. People say oh who is she to judge? She think she's better? She wilds out more than anyone else. and I have never felt the need to defend my actions or what I write but there comes a time when some need to be enlightened, so I'm about to go to work.
(Clears Throat and steps onto her Soapbox)
My blog is real. I say what is true to me and to life as I know it. You might not understand it or like it because it's not what you know or what you can even comprehend...and that's ok. You're not me so at the end of the day my life experience won't be yours. I have seen and been through things some people wouldn't dream of so when someone has a problem with what I write it's just that: their problem.
Sometimes it hurts for people to hear what's true, and I speak from EXPERIENCE. That's the funny thing people are quick to negate, skip over, and conveniently not read when they access my blog. Everything I write has a component where I speak about myself and my own struggles with all the topics. So when I write it might seem judgmental but it's only a reflection on decisions I have also made.
You might have seen me on facebook but remember you don't know me. Everyone thinks they know but they have no idea so don't accept everything you hear because that will only leave you misinformed. This is only a glimpse into who I am, and it serves as a release and my attempt to help someone else learn a lesson I learned the hard way. So when you wanna feel some type of way and get in an uproar it's probally because you can directly relate to the truth I speak.
Raw honestly can be a hard pill to swallow, so if you don't like it don't read it. My blog is just that...MY BLOG. I have the right to say whatever I like and I choose truth. What I write is not geared toward those who live in a fantasy world and can't embrace reality. At the end of the day I don't do it for anyone but myself. Some people won't ever like me or what I have to say, and I'm good with that. There hate just continues to give me promo.
Any more questions? Ask about me.
So many people have so much to say about me and the contents of my blog. I think it's hilarious. People say oh who is she to judge? She think she's better? She wilds out more than anyone else. and I have never felt the need to defend my actions or what I write but there comes a time when some need to be enlightened, so I'm about to go to work.
(Clears Throat and steps onto her Soapbox)
My blog is real. I say what is true to me and to life as I know it. You might not understand it or like it because it's not what you know or what you can even comprehend...and that's ok. You're not me so at the end of the day my life experience won't be yours. I have seen and been through things some people wouldn't dream of so when someone has a problem with what I write it's just that: their problem.
Sometimes it hurts for people to hear what's true, and I speak from EXPERIENCE. That's the funny thing people are quick to negate, skip over, and conveniently not read when they access my blog. Everything I write has a component where I speak about myself and my own struggles with all the topics. So when I write it might seem judgmental but it's only a reflection on decisions I have also made.
You might have seen me on facebook but remember you don't know me. Everyone thinks they know but they have no idea so don't accept everything you hear because that will only leave you misinformed. This is only a glimpse into who I am, and it serves as a release and my attempt to help someone else learn a lesson I learned the hard way. So when you wanna feel some type of way and get in an uproar it's probally because you can directly relate to the truth I speak.
Raw honestly can be a hard pill to swallow, so if you don't like it don't read it. My blog is just that...MY BLOG. I have the right to say whatever I like and I choose truth. What I write is not geared toward those who live in a fantasy world and can't embrace reality. At the end of the day I don't do it for anyone but myself. Some people won't ever like me or what I have to say, and I'm good with that. There hate just continues to give me promo.
Any more questions? Ask about me.
Sooooooo Not Fabulous Moment of the Week
The Miseducation of Me
I had to do it in honor of the great Lauryn Hill and her 34th Birthday. Eleven years ago she changed my life and so many others with her album the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, but now its time to talk a little but about my own miseducation:
To miseducate is to improperly educate.
My miseducation takes rare form when it comes to relationships because of the belief that I had the power to change a man. I thought I knew something only to learn that I knew nothing at all. I thought I held the power only to find out I was the weakest. It was a hard pill to swallow, and it actually still feels lodged in my throat.
I thought I could change a man but I could not have been more wrong. I liked him. He liked me. There were things that I didn't like but it was like my 80/20. He had 80% of the qualities that I wanted but I was still seeking that 20%. I thought I could mold him and make him into what I wanted to be. I was so caught up in the things that he was not that I missed all the wonderful things that he was. I wanted a bad boy so I provoked him and started fights. I said he was too nice so I pushed him away. I played with his emotions only to fulfill my own peaty desires for drama. I broke up with him because I felt I was missing out on life, and I left him to his own devices.
But that's not the worse part. Once I realized I left my 80 trying to get that 20, I wanted him back. I went to work. I finally opened up told him, I really felt, and prayed that he would take me back. I thought with all of my scheming and plotting ways I could snap and he would coming running back, but reality is a bitch. He didn't come running back. I drove miles and miles expecting for everything to be like it was with a bat of my eyelash and I was wrong.
He changed. He became more like the 20 and less like the 80 I was in love with. It was my fault. Random indiscretions. Random girls all the time. And that left me with random insecurities. Where he is? Who he's with? How does he feel about me? He embraced the role I threw him into, and all the changes that thought I wanted pushed us further and further apart, and we were both shells of the wonderful people we used to be.
My friend was also taught this same crazy lesson. She believed she could take a man, a D-I college athlete whose sole focus was to build his body count and make him faithful. Though she tried, hoped, and believed something about her would make him change. Long story short...It didn't. He had sex with the half the female population while she waited and waited for a change that would never come.
This lesson has to be relearned, taught again, and figured out. Somewhere along the relationship road women are learning that they can shape and mold a man into whatever they want him to be, but this is the furthest thing from the truth. A man is who he is and he's gonna be who he wants to be. No matter who you are, what you wear, how fly your weave, or how good you put it on him, he will still be the man that he has been raised to be. The man HE WANTS to be. The sooner we realize this the better off we will be. We won't drive ourselves crazy because things aren't turning out according to plan. Instead we will grow, live, and learn to appreciate those in our lives for all the beautiful things that they are instead of lingering on all the things that they are not. When we can do this changing that man won't matter because we will realize that true love is not the loving the perfect person but its loving the imperfect person, perfectly.
I'm Going In...Celebrity Status
It has been a minute, but I'm back with a few things that must be said...
I think Kanye said it best, "It's always gone be haters that's just what it is hater b*tches marry hater n*ggas and have hater kids." It so pathetic that people are so bored and dissatisfied with their own lives that they want to project their unhappiness on others. Reaching celebrity status brings so much attention...
Just a few things I have learned:
People will always feel some type of way about who you are and what you do.
Most of the time these people just want to be you.
Misery loves company.
If you devote energy and time to these haters you will get sucked into their horrible cycle.
Someone so wise once said that haters can't stand to see someone doing better in life so it's understandable that people would come at you while your making moves. Crabs in a barrel...You are doing what they want to do and what they can't do, and their inability to get on your level is the source of so much jealousy.
So if people wanna talk, let them. If they wanna be mad, give them even more reason because haters are the ultimate sign of success, and their tools are the lies they make up just to feel a little better about their plight. I personally think its hilarious. Some of y'all haters should really look into creative writing because you could be making money from all of the outlandish stories you make up on the regular. It's crazy to think that people devote so much time to what somebody else is doing. Just think if you took half of that energy and focused on you, you could definitely upgrade yourself...I'm just saying.
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