j'adore fabulosity

I got flowers today and I wished they were from you, but I knew in my heart that they weren't.  I know that it will never be the same, and it's all my fault.  No matter what I say, no matter what I do, I can't go back.  I know I'm indeceive, but I thought you would understand.  I took your kindness for weakness, and the result was deadly.  Without you I'm misrebale, but I'm resigned to what life might bring.  I'm owning my shit.  Penance done and penance more to do, but I'm human and it hurts.  When I think of you, what cold have been, what should have been I want to scream.  A burning rises in my chest because I know what I gave up.  But now you push me away, your words and your actions conflict.  You love what you've found, but you love me too and the two just can't co-exist.  You can't see it, but the constant pushing causes the distance becomes more unbearable.  The chasm widens.  I can't even see the other side, and now I need you the most.  Yes, I said need.  I realize who you are and what were and could have been to me and I'm sorry, but I know it's not enough.