Lose Some Weight
I friend of mine recently asked me, "do you ever feel like you speak and no one understands what you say?" Stopping to think, I acknowledge the fact that this is not only my reality, but also the reality of many others. To speak and to be misunderstood and misinterpreted is more common that we think or believe. The primary factor in the breakdown of most relationships, whether they are romantic or platonic, communication failure. We all have baggage, and to every relationship we bring this excess weight composed of our preconceived notions, personal experiences, biases and prejudices. We carry every hurt, every tear, every memory; after a relationship we grab our suitcases pack all of them to capacity. Overflowing with pain, long-suffering, hate, disdain, and confusion, we travel to the next with all these feelings and ideas in tow. These personal biases and preconceived notions create the gap between reality and perception causing us to fail at communicating what is real. Most of all we fail at communication because we are deeply afraid of what we really have to say and what we really feel. Fear. It's debilitating. It's paralyzing. We live in fear of being truly happy. We are scared to relinquish all drama from our lives, so we consciously and unconsciously sabotage all we come in contact with. Some are afraid that without the drama they will become bored or less than entertained, but their lives are so mundane that they need that unnecessary drama to fill a void. A void that should be filled by purpose or service to others, and we will do what ever is necessary to insure that the drama exists. As humans, we are peaty, weak and peaty. We attack and viciously tear down those who have seemingly transcended the triviality that is life and adolescence. These people are parasites, or leeches if you will. They thrive on the livelihood of others, and they have the potential to suck the life from each of us it we let them. Because they are too weak or too lazy to leap over their own stumbling blocks they lie down and become stumbling blocks for others, making life that much harder. If you cannot relate or this doesn't apply to your life, I commend you, but for the other 99% of us something must be done. We must lose some weight (and I do not mean in the dieting and treadmill way). The emotional luggage that is over-stuffed and being dragged from place to place with us must be purged. We have to throw out those things that are not conducive to us becoming our personal best. We need to reevaluate all the things we carry. It is necessary to take a moment to reflect, unpack our bags, and review all we have inside. An emotional check up if you will. I am not suggesting that we ever forget those people, places, and experiences that made us who we are, but we must reconcile who we were at those various points with the people we want to be now. If they don't match, we've got work to do. Cleaning up our emotional state is not a one-day thing; it is an ongoing process that must be remembered for the sake of mental health. By allowing old pain and old hurt to come along with you to future relationships, it leaves room for those old feelings to adversely affect the new you. So learn from your past, leave all excess weight in the present, and wisely choose what you desire to carry into the future.
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