j'adore fabulosity

Now Usually I Don't Do This But....

Posted on 4:30 PM No Comments
Labels: Celebrity, Fabulous, Life, Reality, Truth

Now, I have to borrow a line from Drake and say a lot of people be thinking my blog is about them...this is not to get confused. This one really IS about you...

So many people have so much to say about me and the contents of my blog. I think it's hilarious. People say oh who is she to judge? She think she's better? She wilds out more than anyone else. and I have never felt the need to defend my actions or what I write but there comes a time when some need to be enlightened, so I'm about to go to work.

(Clears Throat and steps onto her Soapbox)

My blog is real. I say what is true to me and to life as I know it. You might not understand it or like it because it's not what you know or what you can even comprehend...and that's ok. You're not me so at the end of the day my life experience won't be yours. I have seen and been through things some people wouldn't dream of so when someone has a problem with what I write it's just that: their problem.

Sometimes it hurts for people to hear what's true, and I speak from EXPERIENCE. That's the funny thing people are quick to negate, skip over, and conveniently not read when they access my blog. Everything I write has a component where I speak about myself and my own struggles with all the topics. So when I write it might seem judgmental but it's only a reflection on decisions I have also made.

You might have seen me on facebook but remember you don't know me. Everyone thinks they know but they have no idea so don't accept everything you hear because that will only leave you misinformed. This is only a glimpse into who I am, and it serves as a release and my attempt to help someone else learn a lesson I learned the hard way. So when you wanna feel some type of way and get in an uproar it's probally because you can directly relate to the truth I speak.

Raw honestly can be a hard pill to swallow, so if you don't like it don't read it. My blog is just that...MY BLOG. I have the right to say whatever I like and I choose truth. What I write is not geared toward those who live in a fantasy world and can't embrace reality. At the end of the day I don't do it for anyone but myself. Some people won't ever like me or what I have to say, and I'm good with that. There hate just continues to give me promo.

Any more questions? Ask about me.

Sooooooo Not Fabulous Moment of the Week

Posted on 4:14 PM No Comments
Labels: Celebrity, Life, Not Fabulous, Slippin'

Ok so I wasn't gonna post this mess just because of the pure and unbearable foolishness of it all but it must be done. Spectacular from Pretty Ricky who was already questionable posted this grinding "challenge" on youtube and proceeded to dance around in some little red undies. Who told him this was acceptable? Who are his friends? His people? anyone that could have helped him before this travishamockery (yes, that is a travesty, a sham, and a mockery) hit the internet for all to see. I've said it once, but I'll say it again: WE MUST DO BETTER...IT IS NO LONGER A OPTION BUT A NECESSITY.

The Miseducation of Me

Posted on 2:45 PM No Comments
Labels: Celebrity, Lesson, Life, Love, Men, Reflection, Relationships

I had to do it in honor of the great Lauryn Hill and her 34th Birthday. Eleven years ago she changed my life and so many others with her album the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, but now its time to talk a little but about my own miseducation:

To miseducate is to improperly educate.

My miseducation takes rare form when it comes to relationships because of the belief that I had the power to change a man. I thought I knew something only to learn that I knew nothing at all. I thought I held the power only to find out I was the weakest. It was a hard pill to swallow, and it actually still feels lodged in my throat.

I thought I could change a man but I could not have been more wrong. I liked him. He liked me. There were things that I didn't like but it was like my 80/20. He had 80% of the qualities that I wanted but I was still seeking that 20%. I thought I could mold him and make him into what I wanted to be. I was so caught up in the things that he was not that I missed all the wonderful things that he was. I wanted a bad boy so I provoked him and started fights. I said he was too nice so I pushed him away. I played with his emotions only to fulfill my own peaty desires for drama. I broke up with him because I felt I was missing out on life, and I left him to his own devices.

But that's not the worse part. Once I realized I left my 80 trying to get that 20, I wanted him back. I went to work. I finally opened up told him, I really felt, and prayed that he would take me back. I thought with all of my scheming and plotting ways I could snap and he would coming running back, but reality is a bitch. He didn't come running back. I drove miles and miles expecting for everything to be like it was with a bat of my eyelash and I was wrong.

He changed. He became more like the 20 and less like the 80 I was in love with. It was my fault. Random indiscretions. Random girls all the time. And that left me with random insecurities. Where he is? Who he's with? How does he feel about me? He embraced the role I threw him into, and all the changes that thought I wanted pushed us further and further apart, and we were both shells of the wonderful people we used to be.

My friend was also taught this same crazy lesson. She believed she could take a man, a D-I college athlete whose sole focus was to build his body count and make him faithful. Though she tried, hoped, and believed something about her would make him change. Long story short...It didn't. He had sex with the half the female population while she waited and waited for a change that would never come.

This lesson has to be relearned, taught again, and figured out. Somewhere along the relationship road women are learning that they can shape and mold a man into whatever they want him to be, but this is the furthest thing from the truth. A man is who he is and he's gonna be who he wants to be. No matter who you are, what you wear, how fly your weave, or how good you put it on him, he will still be the man that he has been raised to be. The man HE WANTS to be. The sooner we realize this the better off we will be. We won't drive ourselves crazy because things aren't turning out according to plan. Instead we will grow, live, and learn to appreciate those in our lives for all the beautiful things that they are instead of lingering on all the things that they are not. When we can do this changing that man won't matter because we will realize that true love is not the loving the perfect person but its loving the imperfect person, perfectly.

Drake and Trey Songz Music Fab

Posted on 12:44 PM No Comments
Labels: Celebrity, Fabulous, Music

Soooo, Drake and Trey Songz...I'm officially in love. So Hot!!!

I'm Going In...Celebrity Status

Posted on 1:14 AM comments (1)
Labels: Bitchassness, Celebrity, Life, Not Fabulous

It has been a minute, but I'm back with a few things that must be said...

I think Kanye said it best, "It's always gone be haters that's just what it is hater b*tches marry hater n*ggas and have hater kids." It so pathetic that people are so bored and dissatisfied with their own lives that they want to project their unhappiness on others. Reaching celebrity status brings so much attention...

Just a few things I have learned:

People will always feel some type of way about who you are and what you do.

Most of the time these people just want to be you.

Misery loves company.

If you devote energy and time to these haters you will get sucked into their horrible cycle.

Someone so wise once said that haters can't stand to see someone doing better in life so it's understandable that people would come at you while your making moves. Crabs in a barrel...You are doing what they want to do and what they can't do, and their inability to get on your level is the source of so much jealousy.

So if people wanna talk, let them. If they wanna be mad, give them even more reason because haters are the ultimate sign of success, and their tools are the lies they make up just to feel a little better about their plight. I personally think its hilarious. Some of y'all haters should really look into creative writing because you could be making money from all of the outlandish stories you make up on the regular. It's crazy to think that people devote so much time to what somebody else is doing. Just think if you took half of that energy and focused on you, you could definitely upgrade yourself...I'm just saying.

Some Type of Love

Posted on 6:30 PM No Comments
Labels: Desire, Lesson, Life, Love, Searching

I feel vulnerable and I hate vulnerable. I need the unexplainable, unquestionable love. Love that makes you feel you're the only one he's ever needed and the only one he ever will. Love that matters. Love that keeps his eyes from wondering every five seconds, and love that keeps me from feeling like I need to follow those eyes. The love that makes me secure. I need the love that's a constant reminder that I'm all you need. I want the love that makes me the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning and the last thing you can conceive when you close your eyes at night. I even want the kind of love that puts me in the center of every single dream. I want the love that hopes, the love that believes, the love that is patient and kind. That 1st Corinthians, biblical type of love. A love that doesn't question the inexplicable but embraces the unknown. Love that doesn't hurt, well the good hurt I don't mind, but the love that seeks perfection. Love that understands, that's mature, can comprehend emotions, knows my worth, and values every moment we share together. Love that doesn't take me for granted and in turn makes me never want to do the same. Love that cannot even conceive the notion of failure. But I'm starting to wonder if it really exists...

Flowers

Posted on 11:28 PM No Comments
Labels: Life, Love, Pain, Suffering

Dear Love,

I got flowers today and I wished they were from you, but I knew in my heart that they weren't. I know that it will never be the same, and it's all my fault. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, I can't go back. I know I'm indeceive, but I thought you would understand. I took your kindness for weakness, and the result was deadly. Without you I'm misrebale, but I'm resigned to what life might bring. I'm owning my shit. Penance done and penance more to do, but I'm human and it hurts. When I think of you, what cold have been, what should have been I want to scream. A burning rises in my chest because I know what I gave up. But now you push me away, your words and your actions conflict. You love what you've found, but you love me too and the two just can't co-exist. You can't see it, but the constant pushing causes the distance becomes more unbearable. The chasm widens. I can't even see the other side, and now I need you the most. Yes, I said need. I realize who you are and what were and could have been to me and I'm sorry, but I know it's not enough.